Mother's Day...

Well, yesterday was Mother's day. Mother's day is very special to me and a little sad...I am so happy that I am a mother but I lost my mama almost 6 years ago. So, it's a day with mixed feelings...

My mother was really my grandmother. She was only 39 when I was born, so she was a very young grandma :) She took on the responsibility of being my mom when I was only about 7 months old. She did everything...I mean, everything. She left her career as a nurse to be a stay-at-home mom to me. Like I've said before, she was everything to me. She was kind, sweet, soft-spoken and my best friend. She had so much class :) I always wanted to be just like her. She was beautiful inside and out. She died way too young. I had just turned 30 and she had just turned 70. We had too many things we still needed to do together. She never rode on an airplane. She never went on a cruise. She never went to Disney World. She never left the USA. The farthest west she ever went was to Nashville, TN. She left this world, 85 pounds and fighting all the way. She didn't want to leave us...but I know she busted heaven's gates wide open :)

I have been asked before where was my "real" mother, or my biological mother....I don't have a relationship with her. I was raised with her around, but she took on more the role of sister, rather than mother. She didn't like being a mother. She told me that when I was five. She told me that every year of my life until I was 33 and I walked away. I have never looked back. I know I'll never see her again.

So, on Mother's day, I think about my grandma and how wonderful and perfect she was to me. I wish I could taste her cookin' one more time. I wish I could just hug her and smell her perfume mixed with double mint chewing gum. I think about her because she saved me. She gave me so much and gave up so much. I am forever thankful :)

And on Mother's day, I think about how amazing it is that I'm a mom...my only dream as a child...to be a mama...I wanted to have lots of kids and now I do! (Three is a lot to me!) and I just thank the Lord every day for these 3 beautiful blessings. The Lord knew the desire of my heart. He knew I wanted to break the chain. I think I have. There is nothing greater that I could do with my life. Nothing.

Happy Mother's Day!! XXOO