Today is October 19, 2012...I haven't written in a long time...almost 2 months. It's been a very rough 2 months for us. This past August 31st, my husband lost his job. It's been tough but even in the hardest times, God is there and even when we don't understand, He does. So, I know that we will be ok and that one day we'll look back on this time and be thankful that we made it through. This is only a season in our lives...not our whole life...
But in the midst of hard times, there are still very, very happy times. Our children are the bright spots in our days. They are the reason we wake up and put one foot in front of the other...the reason we celebrate even when it seems a little hard to. And in the midst of this trial in our lives, my sweet, first born son is turning 10. This event has affected me more than when I turned 30 or 35. It is the craziest thing ever. I can't believe that a decade has gone by. People say it goes by in a blink and they are right. It may be even faster than that...
So, my oldest son, Will is turning 10 tomorrow...at 9:00am on the dot, to be exact. Will is my son and also my friend. He's the kindest, sweetest little guy. He is tender-hearted and that smile on his face...well, it's a real one and it shows way down into his heart. He's genuine...he is a gift. He helped me grow up and that little thing turned me into a mama :) I am so proud of him that I just about can't contain it. His sense of humor is just like his Daddy's and those freckles...well, they just keep getting better and better by the day :)
10 years ago, I was the dumbest soon-to-be mama on the planet...literally. I thought that when you had a baby, it would sting a little and then you would hold the baby and dress him up and show him off to your friends and take him to the mall. I envisioned myself walking around the mall in heels, pushing my son (who would be dressed in perfect baby blue outfits and hats) in a stroller, while he slept, of course and having the time of my life. Not one time, did anyone ever tell me that I might literally rip my insides out while giving birth and barely live to tell about it....or that he would have colic for over 6 months and that I would have to run a vaccum cleaner all day to make him stop crying. No one told me that my new favorite TV show would be Baby Einstein and that I would probably never walk around a mall again...especially not in heels :) I would have a new appreciation for late night TV, Dr. Brown bottles and pacifiers. I would grow to detest breast pumps and rear facing carseats...And nobody told me that I would absolutely fall in love with that baby and that I would die for him, easily. Nobody had to tell me those things (though it would have been nice to have a little heads-up on the childbirth part) but when I saw that little scrunched up face...well, he became my world. I just knew it. My dream had come true.
Will, the past 10 years have been precious and I pray that I have many, many more decades on this earth with you. You are a ray of sunlight in a world that needs it so much. You make me laugh everyday. I can't believe you are almost taller than me. I love you more than life.
Love, Mama
